Gay Straight Aliance

The GSA is club at my local high school, Only a few people join, and only the people who are confident enough to show their true colors. But we have about 10 people in it. And mostly seniors. I just want to thoroughly express my feelings about it. I joined a few weeks ago at a club advisory meeting in the middle of the summer. Today was a real meeting. And already I felt instantly at home. Sure nobody there knows me good. But I feel safe knowing I always have a place to show my true colors. I completely suggest this to everyone with the opportunity. Get connected within your community. Meet new people, and be yourself. You might even meet someone special. Good luck.

scapegoat

A scapegoat is something you put your stress into. It's basically when you let your issues escape in both good ways and bad. What is important to do here, is to let them out in a good way. Not a negative way. Writing a story maybe a good way to get your passion out. Punching a pillow. Screaming into a pillow. Taking a walk. Going to the gym. Doing some form of physical activity. Yoga can help a lot of people deal with stress due to how relaxing it is. Taking a warm bath. All of these are great scapegoats. Some people like to push all their anger out, and force it out of their bodies. And other people like to relax and be mellow enough to realize that they are okay. It's important to see what is the best POSITIVE scapegoat for you. Experiment around and figure out what is your method.

Acceptance

You have to accept yourself before you accept the problems that surround you. The key to everything around us, is love, acceptance, laughter, forgiveness, everything we live for. So People must accept you, before they learn to live with it. For example, at first nobody in my family excepted me, they resented my homosexuality. And still used gay as a slang word. But now 2 years later they love me for who I am, and accept me completely. Give it time, you can't rush someones thoughts as much as you can't rush an angry pregnant woman. You can try, but you'll only aggravate the situation. So let it be, and just cool off, don't try to help them accept, they need to do it on their own time. Hope I helped. 

Sorry it's been so long, lately I've been so busy. Went to a Paul McCartney concert, and now I feel like my anorexia is slowly returning. Sorry, but I will try to come on here and write posts as much as I can.  

Never take your own life

Sometimes being different can be hard, but maybe the hardest part is what people call "the brick wall". It's normally in a persons life, who has that chance to be suicidal. Gays and lesbians included. Its when you see this "wall" approaching with signs, that may be big hurtles in your life, but it seems like after major bump you get over, there is just another one in its absence. The tension builds up and eventually you get too depressed to live, because you're finally at your stone wall, trying to climb over it. You could fall down, but the important thing is that you always get back up again. I don't think you could understand unless you've gone through this already. But you just reach a point in your life, maybe multiple times, that is your breaking point. "all healthy men have thought of their own suicide" one in four people self harm. " Suicide is mans way of telling god 'you can't fire me!', 'I quit!' "Suicide does not end the chances of it getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"

Sometimes people tell you that you're looking at it wrong, maybe your not looking it wrong, your eyes are just preventing your mind from whats right

All in all, please keep your head up. And never take your own life. It's special, and personally i'd maybe meet you someday, maybe run into you at the market, but maybe your life just hasn't found that one light yet. But never stop looking. Ever. You could maybe reach the stars, not the ground beneath your feet. Take the chance, and live. You never know what possibilities you could find.

1-800-273-TALK ( 8255 ) No matter what your going through they can give CONFIDENTIAL HELP and its free and open for calls 24/7. I've called and indeed a young woman did save my life. PLEASE CALL THIS LINE.  

Trans or gay

I understand that quite a lot of people a confused on weather they are trans or just gay. nobody can tell you what you are. because they wont ever know you like you do. transgender is when you want to be the opposite sex rather than your own, and at early childhood some lesbian, gays and transgender kids say they'd like to be the opposite sex, because their mind makes sense of the feelings, saying they should be the opposite sex. So honestly its what you think, and maybe your feelings will change in the future but maybe not. Its all up to what your mind decides.

Broken heart

Nothing hurts more than loving somebody who can't love you back. I think everyone knows what that feels like. And yet we still try to hang on to them like we can still hope. I want to tell all of the people out there who have had a broken heart, that it'll be okay. That if you cry, its okay. Because we all know what its like to be so hurt. And we all know what its like to feel useless. But somehow we still hope they could maybe... someday.. love you back. Stay strong.

How you can express your gay pride:)

Maybe It's just me, but one sure way of making me feel better is to get out my feelings by showing my gay pride. I've heard stories of amazing gay pride parade's that go on for days, with people just like us. That storm the streets and show off their pride. I always dream of going to one, and showing everyone how special I feel. Dressing up in rainbow colors, and dancing in the streets. Meeting new people, It all just sounds so meaningful. Sometimes I draw pictures to show how much I like who I am. Sometimes I just say it to myself,  let it all sink in. I like to color coordinate the beads in my bracelets to be gay pride colors. I just love who I am, not what I look like, not what I do everyday. I love my gay pride. It is my light, and it use to be my darkness. Until I realized, how special it makes me. Even by thinking about it, you can make yourself happier. You can express your gay pride to yourself in your head. because once you learn to love it, the world is a better place.

Why is it important to keep an open mind?

It's important to be free of any upsetting ideas, and feelings. So the idea is to be open to all that is good, and never let in any of the bad. You can do this by working out, eating healthy, riding your bike, playing your favorite video game. Anything to keep your mind in a good and happy safe place. Not letting the real world tell you how to be. This may seem hard, but what I like to do, when I get down about life. I sit in a dark room, with candles lit, and just think. Sometimes I wright, sometimes I shout, and sometimes I sing. It just helps me get all of my doubts out. And sometimes all I need to do, is cry it out. For my smile to come back. This may all be confusing, but when I get depressed the only thing on my mind is getting better. So I think you need to try your hardest to find your happy place. And keep an open mind to life. Its better once your free of hate. It gets better:) I promise.

Stressed?

Being gay, and in the closet is a strain. You have to refrain from exploding, because you feel like you can't tell a single person. Being out of the closet can be just as hard too. This is why gay people are more likely to commit suicide. And if that gay child was rejected by his/her parents, the chances go up. Being gay is stressful, it is hard. But there are a million people out there like you, and a lot of them have made it through the tough times. And so can you! The important thing is to never give up. Never let your emotions get the best of you, and remain genuine to who you are. If you aren't who you wanted to be, then keep trying. be the person you've always wanted to be .Follow your dreams, and never ever ever, let anyone tell you that you can't. You are your own person, so be who you want to be, not what people want you to be. Be yourself. And be true to who you are:)

Falling for your friend?

A lot of people ask "what if I'm in love with my best friend?". Having a crush on someone, let alone somebody you can't have is difficult. I know that, I had a crush on my best friend too. But I was lucky enough she fell for me right back. The problem is that you don't want to tell them, because you know that if you do, it could jeopardize your relationship. She may not be okay with that sort of thing. You really have two options. You could hold it in, and still have a best friend. Or you could let it all out, and put it on the table, telling her that you like her. It's a bit confusing on weather you should choose. But you really need to sit down and think, I can't make the decision for you.  But I can help you see both sides. In one hand shes still your best friend no-matter what, and maybe just maybe she could possibly have feelings for you too. On the other hand you tell her, and have a chance that she wont ever talk to you again, or maybe tell everyone else what you shared with her, but then again she could possibly have feelings for you to. Or you could hold it in, and drop little hints, like maybe you could try to show her you like her, without saying anything. I had a crush on my best friends for months, before we actually both confessed to having feelings for each other. It mostly depends on weather your friend is empathetic or understanding, and would still trust you after something like that. Every person is different, so I cannot tell you how they will react. Its a matter of personality. I hope I helped. peace out:)

Anything that you want to know?

You can send me an email, telling me what you want to know. I like awkward topics, please don't be afraid to ask. You can be anonymous and keep is secretive. I promise that this can be strictly between us.   So if you want to know about anything at all, like seriously  anything. I can help you out, because I know a lot about this. Please, please, please, please, send me an e mail. I would absolutely love to answer your questions. Maybe you could send me a topic to write about. But my email is yamom1999@gmail.com thank you, please send me an email. :)

Finding that one special person.

You should not look for love, because then you'll compromise for a lover that doesn't deserve you. Let love find you, true love just happens, and It pops up out of nowhere. I remember feeling like I'd never find love. I looked for so hard and so long I forgot what I was looking for. Then one day, I just stopped. And then as simple as that, love found me. It surprised me. And I've never been so In-love in my life. She just became my best friend, and we finally hinted to each other how we felt. And then soon enough we were dating. And I was so happy. She was so good to me. In a relationship with someone of you own gender may be hard, because people may look at you funny, or you may be hiding it from your family members.  The list goes on, but the important thing is, that you love each-other. Because if you love each-other, you will forgive, let loose, and have a great time. So to cap things up, you need to be happy, and if your looking to hard, you'll get depressed because your looking past the thing you need to see. Love is spontaneous so stop looking:)

Surrounding yourself with the "right" people.

If you have parents, that seem over protective and don't agree with you hanging out with their definition of the "wrong crowd". They don't understand, but maybe your hanging out with those people because they accept you, or that they understand, or maybe they are even like you too. But The important thing is that you hang out with the people that help you the most. I have friends who are like me, some who have anxiety problems, and some that have past anorexia problems, and some that are just plain gay. It feels really nice to have friends who understand you. And if you are anti social like I was, then you should get out there, and take the world by storm, its easier said than done, but you should try to find people who can help you. Somebody who can relate to your problems. Or even better, someone who is empathetic ( understanding ). Once you find those people who help you, your world seems to slow down. And it seems a lot more comforting when you have people to hold you through your issues.

Be proud of who you are

A really important thing for a gay or lesbian teen, adult, or preteen, is to be proud of who you are. If you aren't proud of yourself, you could slip into a long term course of anxiety, depression, and all sorts of negative things. You could turn to smoking, drinking, drugs,  its is so important to give yourself that pat on the back. Because I know you deserve it. You are special, and sure sometimes people don't understand you, or get how you can be different, but to me. You are special in your own way. And you need to realize what they say doesn't matter, what You think about yourself does matter. You are so unique, and nobody should be able to take that away. If you need to talk to me, I'm here. But if I am busy or unable to get to the internet please call the crisis line, or go to any other links for the lgbt community on my blog. You can follow me on twitter @alonakathryn or friend me on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/alona.brunette or email me, at yamom1999@gmail.com please don't send me any gay hate, I'm here for advice and to help you get through this. Don't be afraid to talk to me:) I don't bite.... unless you tell me to. (JUST KIDDING) But seriously I love to help people, it makes me feel happy.

The pressure of holding it in.

You need to be your own person, no-matter how many people try to change you. They aren't you, so they cant try to change you. You are special, and nothing can take that away. There is always the pressure of holding in your feelings. Not coming out, crushing on a friend. But its your choice to come out or stay in. If you stay in the pressure builds and you get hurt more. But if you come out, then you have a chance of getting hurt majorly, and then maybe that'll get better. If you want to come out, or to make the pressure smaller but not to your family, friends ect. Then you should really find somebody you trust, a teacher, a friend, anybody. And come out to them. Its a bit off your chest. But you have to know that you can trust them. WITH ANYTHING. And if you don't have somebody like that, then you should find somebody. You have social networking at your fingertips. Just be careful. Hope I helped:)

Get connected with people like you

When I initially realized that I was a lesbian. I felt so alone, like nobody in the world was like me, the truth is you are not alone. 1 in every 10 people are gay. And on surveys 18% of 100% are lesbian, gay, and bisexual. These numbers are indeed in our favor. We feel so alone, because a number of people say that your different. But on the contrary there are so many people out there like you. And some of them are just itching to help you. Maybe reading my blog helps you, maybe you feel sheltered reading it. Maybe you hate my blog, truth is I can't stop you from hating it, I can't stop you from loving it. Just as people can't stop you from being gay. So it's Important to get out there, and realize that you really are not alone. If you want to use some helpful sites from my blog go to my helpful sites for lgbt post. Be who you want to be.

Afraid of coming out in general?

Maybe you don't have a religious family, maybe you think they will accept you. Maybe you don't know how to tell them. Maybe your afraid. As a teen in the closet It was harder for me to finally spill the beans. I was getting picked on in school, and being pushed around. And then when I got home from school, my mother hugged me. And said the guidance concealer called. And told her everything. I was so mad, not because she told my mom things, but that i specifically asked her not to tell my mom that I was a lesbian. Because that's my job. I said I would eventually tell my mom. The point of me telling you my story, is to show you that I didn't come out the way I wanted to, I didn't feel the way I should have after being forced out. So you can stay in as long as you want, or until you feel ready. Just do it in your own way. http://lgbtlaughs.tumblr.com/post/907992339/101-ways-to-come-out-of-the-closet

this is a tumblr about coming out, its susposto be funny, but maybe you could try a few of them.

Helpful sites for legb ( lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender )

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
http://www.liveoutloud.info/
http://www.glnh.org/index2.html
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/issues_2011/2011_lgbt.html
http://www.bgiok.org.uk/
http://www.lgbt.ie/get-support.aspx
https://christiangays.com/links/christian_social.shtml ( cristian gay thingey )

These are only a handful of sites that can help you. You can go on Google for a wider search though:)

In the closet because of your homophobic family?

You don't have to come out until your ready, technically you never do actually have to come out. But if your like me, and it hurts to hold it in. Then why not come out? I'm not you, so I cannot tell you what you want, but if your not comfortable with coming out, nobody is forcing you. You can hold it in, or maybe when you move out, you can tell them. But this is honestly a touchy topic, and If you want to come out, you have to be sure of it. You have to know what you want. Now this may be confusing, and you may feel stuck. But I held it in for too long, and I was bullied so bad, with no help from anyone, because they didn't know. It is really important to get it out sometime, maybe if you cant to you family. You could go on to daily strength http://www.dailystrength.org/ you can join any sort of support group, gay, lesbian, anxiety, drug abuse, anything. And when I was confused this kind of helped me. But if you feel alone remember you aren't alone, ever. There are so many people out there like you. And just wanting to tell you there story. So get connected, swap advice. It really helps. Follow me on twitter @alonakathryn

thanks for reading, keep your head up. And stay strong.

We are united.

I remember being so scared of my feelings, being so scared of what I may do. Not trusting myself. I kind of looked at myself as a freak. But then one day, it all came out. I sat up an cried for hours, and when I left my room, I felt like a different person. I was finally proud of who I was, and it took me a while to see what I had accomplished. I am who I am because I choose to be, and because I was born this way. So if anyone has anything else to say, then deal. You can throw me, and my people down. But for every unique person you hurt, 2 will come back in their places. This world is growing, and no matter how many strict "stay to the rules" type of people try to stop it, it will change. And for the better. Someday, there will be no war, no hate, no crime, no anti equality. When we all see each other as equals, then we shall overcome. It takes one person to start a war, but a whole nation to stop one.

You are special, and your gay pride is important.

Your gay pride is hard to come by, its hard to get. But once you've got it. Nobody can ever take it away from you. You and only you have the ability to make your dreams come true. You are special, You are original, there isn't anybody in the world exactly like you. We are all different, in better ways. You are no exception. You could be gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender. But we are all human, and since you are special enough to be unique, then take a stand. Be who you want to be. If everyone stands for whats wrong, then have the courage to stand alone for what is right. You never realize how special you are, until someone tells you. So here I am, you are special, individual, unique, amazing, and if anyone tell you differently. You give them the finger for me. Be who you want to be, not who people may you be. Be special.

The picture of betty crocker rainbow cake

MAKE A RAINBOW LAYER CAKE!

Prep time: 30 mins
Total time: 2 hours
Servings: 10
Ingredients for the cake.
2 boxes of betty crocker super moist vanilla cake mix.
2 cups of water
1 cup of vegetable oil
6 eggs
2 packages (2.7 oz each ) Betty Crocker classic gel food colors.
Butter cream frosting
1 cup of shorting
1 cup of butter, softened
1 bag (2lb) powdered sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla
3 to 4 tablespoons milk
1 Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 3 (8-inch) round cake pans with cooking spray
2 In large bowl, beat cake mix, water, oil and eggs with electric mixer on low speed 30 seconds, then on medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Divide batter evenly among 6 small bowls, about 1 1/3 cups each.
3 Using food colors, tint batter in 1 bowl blue, 1 bowl red, 1 bowl green, 1 bowl yellow, 1 bowl orange (using red and yellow) and 1 bowl purple (using blue and red).
4 Refrigerate 3 colors of batter until ready to bake. Pour remaining 3 colors of batter into cake pans.
5 Bake 18 to 20 minutes or until cake springs back when touched lightly in center and begins to pull away from side of pan. Cool 10 minutes. Remove from pans to cooling racks; cool completely.
6 Wash cake pans. Bake and cool remaining 3 cake layers as directed.
7 In large bowl, beat shortening and butter with electric mixer on medium speed until light yellow. On low speed, gradually beat in powdered sugar. Beat in vanilla. Add milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, beating until frosting is smooth. Beat on high speed until light and fluffy 
8 Trim rounded tops off cakes to level, if needed. On serving plate, place purple cake layer. Spread with frosting to within 1/4 inch of edge. Repeat with blue, green, yellow, orange and red cake layers. Spread light coat of frosting on top and side of cake to seal in crumbs, then frost with remaining frosting.
Expert tips.

For a deeper red color, add a teaspoon or two of unsweetened baking cocoa to the red batter

If you only have two 8-inch cake pans, bake the cakes in three batches instead.

For even better protection against cakes sticking to the pans, line pans with cooking parchment paper cut to fit the pan.

Bullying stress?

Number one, if you are getting bullied, YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEBODY. If somebody if going out of their way, just to ruin your day. You really should tell an adult. You may think its stupid, or if you do they'll get back at you, but it takes just a few trips to the principals office to get them to stop. If may seem hard to tell somebody, but honestly its the right thing to do. If you get picked on, or even physically abused then you should get help. pronto. I know that you may feel like you can deal with this on your own. But it takes months of bullying to understand that it could have all been prevented. Months of fighting for nothing.
        When I first came out of the closet, people refused to talk to me, i became a nobody. But then people refused to share the same locker room with me. I would get posted notes in my book and on my back, saying gay offensive slang, or that I should kill myself. At the annual Pulaski Polka Days I walked home in the dark. And was beaten up. By a couple of guys. I never thought that me, a lesbian would get such attention from guys.. even from their fists. But a whole year went by, and I didn't tell anybody, I became suicidal. And the only thing holding me to this earth, was the love of my life. She helped me through it all, and eventually enticed me to get help. If I would have gotten help in the first place, I would have been happy. If i only would have taken the time, to tell somebody, i wouldn't have scares. I would still be 100% okay. But maybe, just maybe, It made me stronger. But all in all, I really should have told the teacher. I should have gotten help. So If you are getting bullied. you need to get help. Right when it starts. peace out.

Not sure if your gay? questioning?

For me, it was easy to know my feelings. It was a bit of a shocker though. To just suddenly realize That I was gay. For starters, everyone is different. So you may have known your whole life, or you could have just realized you may not be straight yesterday. Its a bit different, depending on the person. You may be questioning, or wondering however. But there isn't any way that I can tell you who and what you are. It is for you to figure out. But maybe with advice, I could make it a little easier. Okay so, you can tell you gay by thinking it through, running it through your head, collecting that facts. If you may have fantasies about same sex partners, or if you find them oddly attractive. But in everybody's lives there is a time where we try to find ourselfs, a lot of people question about 96 percent actually do question at least once. here what you need to do.
1. wait, if you are questioning then it could go away, it may just be a phase ( this may be hard, but talk to somebody you trust )
2. If it doesn't go away, and you still have fantasies or dwell on the opposite sex, then you may be lesbian gay or bisexual. But keep waiting because it could just be a really long phase.
3. experiment. Maybe if you try these feelings out you could get a better basis on what you are.
4. If your uncomfortable with that, then maybe you should watch some porn ( it sounds awkward, but it will give you a good basis on your orientation )
5. if you don't feel comfortable doing ether, than maybe you should talk to other gay people. it always helps, to talk to somebody that went through the same thing as you did.
6. Lastly, don't rush your feelings, you'll understand someday, and if not today then in the future for sure.
Hope I helped. peace out.

Rainbow back story

Being recently out of the closet, and at a younger age than most, was a bit harder to understand. I realized I was a lesbian when I was 12. I'd been dating a boy for like 9 months, he was my closest friend. When my family sent me camping with my cousins. Later to realize I was not the only teenager they had invited. They also invited their cousins, from the other side of the family. I had met them all before when they were little kids, but something about the way she lured me in. Something about the way she didn't even try to get my attention. She'd sing like a virgin with me, for the week I spent with her. And I knew that moment I saw her, that I was a lesbian, it all kinda made sense now. I had little crushes before, when I was a child, but never to this magnitude. I had always kind of known that I was, but I never really put it into perspective. And then, that day it hit me.
I came home, and my boyfriend called me, ( I totally forgot I had a boyfriend ) And I just kinda stayed with him. I was so scared people would see right through my "straight lies" that I needed his help. I felt bad for using him, but every inch of me wanted to like him back, but I just couldn't..
Months later from the camping trip, I befriended a mutual friend on Facebook, Her name is Amber. I would tell her about how I was so confused, and how I was so scared, because she was the only person there for me. And one day I realized I was falling for her. With my feelings for that other chick leaving, things got kinda easier. And I felt like she was falling for me too. She told me she was bisexual, later to say complete lesbian. And She invited me to her birthday party. At the tundra lodge. And just like that, we were hugging, and she was brushing my hair, like normal best friends. But there was something different,  Something a little out of the ordinary. I felt like she liked me.

After a long and entrusting 2 year relationship with her, I fell in love with my best friend. Realizing that Amber never had treated me right, she did in the beginning. I fell in love, with a girl who loved me for who I was. I love every inch of her, not like a first love kind of thing. I love her like a forever love.  Amber was my first love, which was powerful, but she is different. She is a forever kind of love. She is all I need. She is Love. I love her, as simple as that. she is my everything. She is what I now live for. I could talk about her forever. As long as I could love her. Forever.