Closeted girlfriend?

My girlfriend grew up in a typical family, with rules and religions and limited freedoms. Shes in the closet, and I don't care if it means we can't hold hands in public, or if we can't tell our closest friends about us. We live in a small town, word spreads like wildfire. I am not prepared to be taken away from her. So even if it means that I have to pretend to like boys, or if I have to pretend not to look at her the way I do. I Love Her, end of story. I know it feels like I could spend the rest of my life with her, and honestly.. I believe that we can make it through all of this. The sound of her voice makes my cheeks and ears turn pink. The feel of her lips makes me forget about everything but her.

Point being, NEVER, ever, make someone come out of the closet. Never make them give up that safety. When they do decide to come out, you need to be there by their side. Supporting every single step of the way.

Love is love, never forget what extent you'll go to.

vlogging

Vlogging also known as video blogging is when a blogger expresses ones thoughts in a video instead of on a blog. Would anyone who is interested in me doing that instead, please email me. Thank you for the input:D

Lesbians: Finding the right girl

You know you've found her when your world stands still when you look into her eyes. You know shes your everything even though she has flaws. You know that you love her because her kisses make your day. Love is so crazy and it can happen at anytime. You know it when you experience it.

There isn't much advice I can give you about love because it is honestly spontaneous. Don't look for love, let love come to you. Don't rush things. Try to be committed and honest. Make sure she comes before everything, and you have to treat her like a lady. Please inbox me if you have any other questions. If you're over 18, I'd suggest some dating sites. If under 18, maybe just try to get in touch with your schools GSA ( gay straight alliance ) See where it takes you. Remember, let love come to you. It'll just happen if its true. :D peace out my homos <3

EMAILS

I really appreciate all of the emails ya'll send me:D Really feels nice to get feedback from all of you. Please email me if there is anything more you want to see on my blog. Thank you for being amazing followers:D

Pride fest

If you ever have been to a pridefest then you know you are truly at home. I urge you, very strongly to get out there and meet those people. Unite with those other people just like you. Meet those great people out there. Pridefest isn't about being out of the closet, it's about being full of pride no matter how bad your situation is. It doesn't matter if there are scars on your arms, or if you can't even admit your sexual oreantation. Even if you aren't proud of yourself. I am proud of you. It doesn't matter who you are, how you live. I am proud of you for living each day and being different. Get out there and go meet the world. Not everyone is a horrible person. Please be proud of who you are. You are great, you are special, you are beautiful. Happy pride everyone.

Gay Straight Aliance

The GSA is club at my local high school, Only a few people join, and only the people who are confident enough to show their true colors. But we have about 10 people in it. And mostly seniors. I just want to thoroughly express my feelings about it. I joined a few weeks ago at a club advisory meeting in the middle of the summer. Today was a real meeting. And already I felt instantly at home. Sure nobody there knows me good. But I feel safe knowing I always have a place to show my true colors. I completely suggest this to everyone with the opportunity. Get connected within your community. Meet new people, and be yourself. You might even meet someone special. Good luck.

scapegoat

A scapegoat is something you put your stress into. It's basically when you let your issues escape in both good ways and bad. What is important to do here, is to let them out in a good way. Not a negative way. Writing a story maybe a good way to get your passion out. Punching a pillow. Screaming into a pillow. Taking a walk. Going to the gym. Doing some form of physical activity. Yoga can help a lot of people deal with stress due to how relaxing it is. Taking a warm bath. All of these are great scapegoats. Some people like to push all their anger out, and force it out of their bodies. And other people like to relax and be mellow enough to realize that they are okay. It's important to see what is the best POSITIVE scapegoat for you. Experiment around and figure out what is your method.

Acceptance

You have to accept yourself before you accept the problems that surround you. The key to everything around us, is love, acceptance, laughter, forgiveness, everything we live for. So People must accept you, before they learn to live with it. For example, at first nobody in my family excepted me, they resented my homosexuality. And still used gay as a slang word. But now 2 years later they love me for who I am, and accept me completely. Give it time, you can't rush someones thoughts as much as you can't rush an angry pregnant woman. You can try, but you'll only aggravate the situation. So let it be, and just cool off, don't try to help them accept, they need to do it on their own time. Hope I helped. 

Sorry it's been so long, lately I've been so busy. Went to a Paul McCartney concert, and now I feel like my anorexia is slowly returning. Sorry, but I will try to come on here and write posts as much as I can.  

Never take your own life

Sometimes being different can be hard, but maybe the hardest part is what people call "the brick wall". It's normally in a persons life, who has that chance to be suicidal. Gays and lesbians included. Its when you see this "wall" approaching with signs, that may be big hurtles in your life, but it seems like after major bump you get over, there is just another one in its absence. The tension builds up and eventually you get too depressed to live, because you're finally at your stone wall, trying to climb over it. You could fall down, but the important thing is that you always get back up again. I don't think you could understand unless you've gone through this already. But you just reach a point in your life, maybe multiple times, that is your breaking point. "all healthy men have thought of their own suicide" one in four people self harm. " Suicide is mans way of telling god 'you can't fire me!', 'I quit!' "Suicide does not end the chances of it getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"

Sometimes people tell you that you're looking at it wrong, maybe your not looking it wrong, your eyes are just preventing your mind from whats right

All in all, please keep your head up. And never take your own life. It's special, and personally i'd maybe meet you someday, maybe run into you at the market, but maybe your life just hasn't found that one light yet. But never stop looking. Ever. You could maybe reach the stars, not the ground beneath your feet. Take the chance, and live. You never know what possibilities you could find.

1-800-273-TALK ( 8255 ) No matter what your going through they can give CONFIDENTIAL HELP and its free and open for calls 24/7. I've called and indeed a young woman did save my life. PLEASE CALL THIS LINE.  

Trans or gay

I understand that quite a lot of people a confused on weather they are trans or just gay. nobody can tell you what you are. because they wont ever know you like you do. transgender is when you want to be the opposite sex rather than your own, and at early childhood some lesbian, gays and transgender kids say they'd like to be the opposite sex, because their mind makes sense of the feelings, saying they should be the opposite sex. So honestly its what you think, and maybe your feelings will change in the future but maybe not. Its all up to what your mind decides.

Broken heart

Nothing hurts more than loving somebody who can't love you back. I think everyone knows what that feels like. And yet we still try to hang on to them like we can still hope. I want to tell all of the people out there who have had a broken heart, that it'll be okay. That if you cry, its okay. Because we all know what its like to be so hurt. And we all know what its like to feel useless. But somehow we still hope they could maybe... someday.. love you back. Stay strong.

How you can express your gay pride:)

Maybe It's just me, but one sure way of making me feel better is to get out my feelings by showing my gay pride. I've heard stories of amazing gay pride parade's that go on for days, with people just like us. That storm the streets and show off their pride. I always dream of going to one, and showing everyone how special I feel. Dressing up in rainbow colors, and dancing in the streets. Meeting new people, It all just sounds so meaningful. Sometimes I draw pictures to show how much I like who I am. Sometimes I just say it to myself,  let it all sink in. I like to color coordinate the beads in my bracelets to be gay pride colors. I just love who I am, not what I look like, not what I do everyday. I love my gay pride. It is my light, and it use to be my darkness. Until I realized, how special it makes me. Even by thinking about it, you can make yourself happier. You can express your gay pride to yourself in your head. because once you learn to love it, the world is a better place.

Why is it important to keep an open mind?

It's important to be free of any upsetting ideas, and feelings. So the idea is to be open to all that is good, and never let in any of the bad. You can do this by working out, eating healthy, riding your bike, playing your favorite video game. Anything to keep your mind in a good and happy safe place. Not letting the real world tell you how to be. This may seem hard, but what I like to do, when I get down about life. I sit in a dark room, with candles lit, and just think. Sometimes I wright, sometimes I shout, and sometimes I sing. It just helps me get all of my doubts out. And sometimes all I need to do, is cry it out. For my smile to come back. This may all be confusing, but when I get depressed the only thing on my mind is getting better. So I think you need to try your hardest to find your happy place. And keep an open mind to life. Its better once your free of hate. It gets better:) I promise.

Stressed?

Being gay, and in the closet is a strain. You have to refrain from exploding, because you feel like you can't tell a single person. Being out of the closet can be just as hard too. This is why gay people are more likely to commit suicide. And if that gay child was rejected by his/her parents, the chances go up. Being gay is stressful, it is hard. But there are a million people out there like you, and a lot of them have made it through the tough times. And so can you! The important thing is to never give up. Never let your emotions get the best of you, and remain genuine to who you are. If you aren't who you wanted to be, then keep trying. be the person you've always wanted to be .Follow your dreams, and never ever ever, let anyone tell you that you can't. You are your own person, so be who you want to be, not what people want you to be. Be yourself. And be true to who you are:)

Falling for your friend?

A lot of people ask "what if I'm in love with my best friend?". Having a crush on someone, let alone somebody you can't have is difficult. I know that, I had a crush on my best friend too. But I was lucky enough she fell for me right back. The problem is that you don't want to tell them, because you know that if you do, it could jeopardize your relationship. She may not be okay with that sort of thing. You really have two options. You could hold it in, and still have a best friend. Or you could let it all out, and put it on the table, telling her that you like her. It's a bit confusing on weather you should choose. But you really need to sit down and think, I can't make the decision for you.  But I can help you see both sides. In one hand shes still your best friend no-matter what, and maybe just maybe she could possibly have feelings for you too. On the other hand you tell her, and have a chance that she wont ever talk to you again, or maybe tell everyone else what you shared with her, but then again she could possibly have feelings for you to. Or you could hold it in, and drop little hints, like maybe you could try to show her you like her, without saying anything. I had a crush on my best friends for months, before we actually both confessed to having feelings for each other. It mostly depends on weather your friend is empathetic or understanding, and would still trust you after something like that. Every person is different, so I cannot tell you how they will react. Its a matter of personality. I hope I helped. peace out:)

Anything that you want to know?

You can send me an email, telling me what you want to know. I like awkward topics, please don't be afraid to ask. You can be anonymous and keep is secretive. I promise that this can be strictly between us.   So if you want to know about anything at all, like seriously  anything. I can help you out, because I know a lot about this. Please, please, please, please, send me an e mail. I would absolutely love to answer your questions. Maybe you could send me a topic to write about. But my email is yamom1999@gmail.com thank you, please send me an email. :)

Finding that one special person.

You should not look for love, because then you'll compromise for a lover that doesn't deserve you. Let love find you, true love just happens, and It pops up out of nowhere. I remember feeling like I'd never find love. I looked for so hard and so long I forgot what I was looking for. Then one day, I just stopped. And then as simple as that, love found me. It surprised me. And I've never been so In-love in my life. She just became my best friend, and we finally hinted to each other how we felt. And then soon enough we were dating. And I was so happy. She was so good to me. In a relationship with someone of you own gender may be hard, because people may look at you funny, or you may be hiding it from your family members.  The list goes on, but the important thing is, that you love each-other. Because if you love each-other, you will forgive, let loose, and have a great time. So to cap things up, you need to be happy, and if your looking to hard, you'll get depressed because your looking past the thing you need to see. Love is spontaneous so stop looking:)

Surrounding yourself with the "right" people.

If you have parents, that seem over protective and don't agree with you hanging out with their definition of the "wrong crowd". They don't understand, but maybe your hanging out with those people because they accept you, or that they understand, or maybe they are even like you too. But The important thing is that you hang out with the people that help you the most. I have friends who are like me, some who have anxiety problems, and some that have past anorexia problems, and some that are just plain gay. It feels really nice to have friends who understand you. And if you are anti social like I was, then you should get out there, and take the world by storm, its easier said than done, but you should try to find people who can help you. Somebody who can relate to your problems. Or even better, someone who is empathetic ( understanding ). Once you find those people who help you, your world seems to slow down. And it seems a lot more comforting when you have people to hold you through your issues.

Be proud of who you are

A really important thing for a gay or lesbian teen, adult, or preteen, is to be proud of who you are. If you aren't proud of yourself, you could slip into a long term course of anxiety, depression, and all sorts of negative things. You could turn to smoking, drinking, drugs,  its is so important to give yourself that pat on the back. Because I know you deserve it. You are special, and sure sometimes people don't understand you, or get how you can be different, but to me. You are special in your own way. And you need to realize what they say doesn't matter, what You think about yourself does matter. You are so unique, and nobody should be able to take that away. If you need to talk to me, I'm here. But if I am busy or unable to get to the internet please call the crisis line, or go to any other links for the lgbt community on my blog. You can follow me on twitter @alonakathryn or friend me on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/alona.brunette or email me, at yamom1999@gmail.com please don't send me any gay hate, I'm here for advice and to help you get through this. Don't be afraid to talk to me:) I don't bite.... unless you tell me to. (JUST KIDDING) But seriously I love to help people, it makes me feel happy.

The pressure of holding it in.

You need to be your own person, no-matter how many people try to change you. They aren't you, so they cant try to change you. You are special, and nothing can take that away. There is always the pressure of holding in your feelings. Not coming out, crushing on a friend. But its your choice to come out or stay in. If you stay in the pressure builds and you get hurt more. But if you come out, then you have a chance of getting hurt majorly, and then maybe that'll get better. If you want to come out, or to make the pressure smaller but not to your family, friends ect. Then you should really find somebody you trust, a teacher, a friend, anybody. And come out to them. Its a bit off your chest. But you have to know that you can trust them. WITH ANYTHING. And if you don't have somebody like that, then you should find somebody. You have social networking at your fingertips. Just be careful. Hope I helped:)